Thursday, August 2, 2001

Lori Schwanhausser

Wilton Y Wahoos

Day 3: I want to focus my thoughts for today around a word upon which my team builds its foundation. Sisu, a Finnish word, has a meaning of utter determination, a special strength, heart and guts. The Sisu Award is given to those swimmers who demonstrate this will to succeed. Though many people often swim great races, Sisu is reserved for those who dig deep in their hearts to accomplish the goal at hand. It is for the swimmers who, when everyone is hurting, finds that hidden chamber of strength in their heart to push ahead towards victory. Tonight, I received this award for anchoring our 800 Freestyle relay, touching out another team for third place. On paper, this feat does not sound like an extraordinary swim; a number of swimmers have probably been in this situation before. But I feel that in my case, this swim was special. Having graduated in June, this is the last Nationals I will ever compete in. I swam the 100 Freestyle earlier this evening, but did not attain a time nor place that I was content with. Two years ago, I won that race, dropping over a second from my personal best. Last year, however, I got only fifth place, adding a second to the time I had done a year ago. This year, I was determined to push through whatever that had kept me from doing that time again, but my determination failed me. Not even breaking a minute, I was crushed. On the verge of tears, I warmed down and received my award: Eighth place. What kept me from going a best time? Nerves? Not enough training? Pressure? Maybe a combination of all three? I could have dwelled on that race for the rest of the night, and trust me, that was tempting. I had so many emotions flooding my body, but I knew that the only way I was going to be able to do well in the relay was if I forgot about myself and focused on the team. Instead of letting my race defeat me, I got angry. I was mad at myself for going slow, but I was mostly just pissed for letting seven other girls beat me in what I believe is my best event. So I decided to take that anger and direct it towards my race. I guess that worked. I went into my leg of the relay third, about a second ahead of fourth, and I stayed in that position until about halfway through the third 50. When the other team caught up to me by the last 50, that anger was brewing in my soul. I believe that being a Wahoo means more than just being a swimmer for a team. We have pride, and I was determined to not let pain get in the way of our achieving victory. So I dug deep, and I found that hidden chamber of strength, and I put it to use.

Many of my friends who are not swimmers wonder how I can enjoy this sport. Swimmers put themselves through extreme amounts of pain without even a guarantee of success. They put their hearts on the line and push their bodies to levels of agony, which would seem crazy to anyone… that is, anyone who has not experienced that ecstasy that this sport also involves. And I can tell you, the amount of pain I experienced tonight was unlike any I can remember feeling, but the moment I saw that I had been successful in my attempt to stick to the fight and beat my competition, that feeling overrides all others. So I guess my point for tonight is that this sport is really something special. Racing takes me to levels of emotions that no other activity has the ability to do. And victory is just pure ecstasy.